This is a sponsored guest post.
If you’re preparing to divorce and your child has a disability, there’s no sure way to tell how the divorce will impact your child. It’s also not clear how divorce will affect your custody arrangements, since every child’s needs are different.
The judge will consider a few factors to determine the custody plan that is best for the child. These factors include which parent is the child’s primary caretaker, which parent has to travel often for work, and whether one or both parents have a history of drug or alcohol addiction. Of course, the mental stability of one or both parents is also taken into consideration when the judge is making a custody-related decision.
Making the Right Decision
Parents of disabled children are likely aware of the specific concerns that come with their situation. Mothers and fathers are often concerned about the child’s environment if special accommodations, like handicap-accessible bathrooms or a space for a service dog, need to be included in custody arrangements.
The emotional needs of a disabled child are often more complex as well. Both parents should be equipped to help the child deal with such a significant change in their lives. If one parent is the main caretaker, it may be necessary for the other parent to participate in counseling or therapy sessions with and without the child to make the transition smoother.
Unfortunately, there are also situations in which one parent refuses to accept that the child is disabled. This will present a drastic difference in the way each parent cares for the child, and it could put the child in danger.
Negotiating Outside of Court
Raising a child with a disability while taking steps to end your marriage often means making unique arrangements for your child’s future. If you and your ex would prefer to reach an agreement concerning custody without the assistance of the court, make sure you communicate with each other clearly. It may be best to hire a mediator for this process.
Make sure you know how to best transition your child between two homes. Discuss your child’s educational needs and the resources your child can access for support. Make sure you’re both on the same page when it comes to the therapy or medical treatment your child needs. It’s also a good idea to schedule social and recreational activities the child can participate in at both homes.
Child Custody Schedules
As it relates to child custody, there are two main schedules used by judges and parents: the week on/week off schedule and the every-other-weekend schedule. The first scheduling arrangement means that parents alternate weeks with their child. The second arrangement means that one parent has primary physical custody and the other parent has the child every other weekend, and sometimes on weeknights.
According to mental health professionals, frequent exposure to both parents is usually the best custody arrangement for the child. It can be difficult for children to go back and forth between their parents’ homes, but they reap the benefit of spending substantial time with both parents, and this outweighs the inconvenience.
If you’re raising a special needs child, they may not understand this arrangement. Commonly there’s one parent substantially more involved in caring for the child with special needs. Some disabled children don’t deal with a change of environment well, and they may need to spend more time with their primary caregiver parent.
This is particularly true in children with autism. The judge may determine that an every-other-month or two weeks on/ two weeks off schedule may be better to help children avoid the shock and frustration of transitioning between two homes.
If you want to make sure you’re making the best possible custody arrangements for your child, speak with a family law attorney, your child’s therapist or medical provider, and your ex about the pros and cons of various custody schedules. This can make it easier to come up with a solution that aids in your child’s development and well-being.
