This post is brought to you by Janine Snyder of goaupair.com (bio at bottom of post).
I felt the guilt, once again, turning on the TV to distract my kid. I just needed a little more sleep. I just needed to get dinner on the table. I just needed to finish up a project for work. The television was always there and it always worked. Then one day, my guilt just ran out. It occurred to me that he was actually learning not just letters and numbers, but how to handle social situations and the really unexpected part was – I was learning how too!
What do the studies say?
It is no secret that the majority of the American population uses television as a way to unwind, to motivate, and even to connect with our spouses. I came across this article published in Scientific America demonstrating how watching your favorite television shows actually give your brain what you are lacking from your daily life. Did the show “Friends” give you the sense of having a close knit group? Do you watch the Bachelor because you want that feeling of a new romance? Does my husband watch Maury’s “who’s the daddy?” episodes because of a lack of drama in his life? A study published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology might say this is the case.
The teachable television moments
Kids TV Shows today are different than when I was growing up. The shows today have goals and mission statements, that you can track throughout the entire program. There is usually a social ad learning obligation objective for the viewer. The shows my kid watches teach sharing, showing empathy, and a responsibility to your community. They discuss what to do when you feel uncomfortable in a situation or what to say when you don’t want to share or what to do when someone doesn’t want to share with you. While watching these programs, my son is learning how to handle social situations in a controlled environment before he is confronted with them.
Problem/solution character role-plays
Can’t he learn this with real kids, in real life? Sure! And he does. While I am present, he has playdates with other kids and we are able to reinforce what he saw on TV. I admit as a busy work-at-home mom, he doesn’t have a ton of playdates, but he never feels a loss of socialization. He is happy and fulfilled. He loves playing and is very active and when he does get to see other kids, he jumps right into the fun. I spent 12 years as a nanny and during that time, I remember families talking to me about the lack of socialization their kids might otherwise get in daycare. From my experience a daycare environment can be dangerous to the growing and learning mind. There are just too many kids for the caregivers to be observing all of their interactions at one time. The kids are trying to deal with situations the caregivers are still learning how to properly handle. Often the group setting lends itself to hitting and biting. It is not the kids fault. They are, after all, still learning and their conflict resolution skills haven’t been fully developed. Negative interaction between their peers could adversely affect their social skills. I’ve watched, however, the kids I have nannied as they have grown into intelligent, empathetic and super outgoing kids! No daycare needed.
The pleasant surprise to screen time
I’ve watched as my baby grew to a toddler and became a regularly frustrated with his inability to express what he wanted. When the tantrums came, my husband and I found ourselves singing and relating to the television shows my son had watched, “When you’re feeling frustrated, take a step-back and ask for help.” When my husband leaves work each day, he sings, “Grown-ups come back.” These were songs we were learning from Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood. Helping us to positively and lovingly handle our sons emotions. This was showing him that it was okay to feel these emotions and we, as his parents, were able to handle them.
Watching TV is not only teaching my son how to socialize, but is also teaching me how to help him. I know there is a limit to how much screen time he should get, but that doesn’t mean at least some television will hurt him. In fact it is helping us all.
Bio: Janine Snyder is a wife, mom and a step-mom and has been in the childcare industry for 25 years. She worked as a full-time nanny for 12 years until she had her own baby and now her job is to work and support parents and nannies from all over the world with Go Au Pair.
