This is a sponsored guest post.
Do you remember who you were before having your baby? Women don’t really think about their identity before they lose it, before children are part of their life. They just live. Becoming a mom probably imposed you multiple boundaries on your career, hobbies, and time. Before motherhood, you thought these aspects comprise your identity and define you, but the fact is that they are only parts of your identity, they only show what lies inside. Just because your life changed the moment you welcomed your baby, it doesn’t mean you should change.
Why do moms lose their identity?
Do not have the misconception that the following things are negative, it’s not wrong to do them but you have to understand the effect they have on you. By the end of the article, you’ll understand that adapting and adjusting to your new situation will help you be a better mother.
Your life revolves around your children
You may find this perplexing because now that you have a baby your days revolve around him or her. But it’s a slight difference between your days revolving around them, and your life doing it. You can still be a mother 24/7 but you can also do other things.
Volunteering, charity work, girls’ night out, and other similar activities can help you grow as an individual and offer your child an example to follow. You have to seek activities that help you stay away from tunnel vision.
You no longer care how you look
Before having a baby, you probably took pleasure in trying different outfits, doing your nails, dying your hair, and trying new accessories daily. You loved it. Now there are times when you use your child’s cap to cover your hair and you wear leggings daily. This may make you feel that you aren’t the woman you used to be, and you don’t look as attractive as you were before baby.
Going to the spa, seeing the hairdresser and buying new clothes can make a great difference. You may hate your clothes because they no longer fit your body, but don’t forget, all bodies are beautiful, you only need to find new items that compliment your new body.
You revolve around your job
You may be the type of woman who dreamed of becoming a mom since childhood, lucky you, the transition probably was smoother for you. But if you dreamt to become a career woman, you may find the transition to motherhood quite difficult. Even if you have decided to stay home after you had a baby, it doesn’t mean that you feel satisfied with your choice. Your job is as important as being a mom so you’ll definitely find a way to balance both.
You can’t get enough sleep
You have to put sleep on your priorities’ list. If you deprive yourself of sleep, you will be overtired, and your mood will become erratic. Yes, the new-born period is difficult but after that everything will be easier, and you’ll manage to sleep the entire night. Even if you have to ask your family or friends to help you care for the baby, or to hire someone, it’s worth for eight hours of sleep at night, it will change your life.
How can you find your identity again?
You have to know this process implies effort, it will not happen overnight, and you need to be open to changes.
Ask yourself the big questions
What are the big questions?
What makes you happy? What do you like to do? Put every single idea on paper, you may find hard to answer to them first, but when you’ll think thoroughly, you will remember the things you loved before having your baby. If you think these things no longer characterise you, you should put down other ones you would like to try.
Think who the people you like to spend time with are. Spend time with the friends who make you feel happy. Think about what type of books you like to read, what dishes you love to eat and so on. They all will help you regain your identity.
Be more active
When you know what activities, you would like to try and what things you prefer, you should start including them in your life. Pick one and do it, perhaps is joining a gym class or spending a day at the spa monthly, everything that would make you happy. Try activities that aren’t mum related, you need to define who you are outside this circle.
Re-connect with your families and friendsThe first person you have to re-connect with is your partner because a baby can have a negative impact on your relationship. You may be too busy to spend one-on-one moments with your partner and they may feel ignored. Establish a date-night once a week and re-establish intimacy, it’s more important than you think. You can be creative and introduce some new toys in the bedroom, they will help you spice up your love life.
Your friends may’ve become a lower priority but reconnecting with them will help you relax and enjoy your new role. Some of your friends may also have children and you can share your common experiences as moms. Your friends can be your support group if you maintain your bond with them.
Take care of yourself
One of the most important steps in finding your lost identity is self-care. You-time is crucial, it will help you fight stress, assist your mental well-being, improve your abilities and make you more productive. Allow you to re-discover yourself. Make time to cut your hair, dye it a new colour, buy some new clothes, try some new shoes, spend time with your friends at a spa. A massage session a week not only that will keep your skin healthy and good-looking but will also give you time to think deeply and uninterrupted. You-time is the thing you need to gain clarity, and to deal with your emotions as a new mom.
