Boundaries are necessary in life. They’re not something you can compromise on when it comes to your mental and physical health. But even knowing that, so many people have no idea how to set boundaries or maintain them. And that can make life a lot harder than it needs to be!
Which is why it’s so important to showcase boundaries as a parent. Allowing your child to grow up knowing they can say ‘no’, as well as identifying when they need to apologize, will do them a big service in the long run. But how can you make something as complex as lifetime boundaries a kid-friendly idea? Here are some tips.
Make ‘No’ a Meaningful Word
No means no, and kids should learn that from a young age. Of course, it can be hard to explain to a toddler in the midst of a tantrum why they can’t have more ice cream, but being firm is the best way forward. Because it’s not just mommy or daddy who can say no, they can too! It might take some time, but teach them to use it only when they mean it, and to use it with as big a voice as they can manage.
Make Sure They See You Using Boundaries
If you want your kids to know what boundaries are and how healthy they are, make sure you model it for them! Kids learn the most from their parents, and if you’re able to say no without feeling guilty, they’re going to quickly pick up the same behavior. Children know a lot more than they let on, and they’ll be able to feel the meaning behind the words when the person they love most shows them how to use them.
Ask Them About Other People’s Feelings
Thinking about how other people feel is a big part of growing up. It’s why teaching a child to treat others like they would want to be treated is such a common lesson. And there are plenty of occasions to talk about such an attitude: sharing with friends at playtime, coming up with April Fools pranks for school, and being nice to siblings or other relatives. Get them to imagine if they had been ‘wronged’ and how it would make them feel, and then how easily such feelings can be avoided with just a bit of thought.
Always Enforce a Boundary
Saying no when you need to isn’t a bad thing, no matter who you’re saying it to. If you show kids that this matters by enforcing boundaries every single time, they’ll wrap their head around the principle. Bedtime is the same time every night, you have to eat most of your dinner before pudding, etc., are small rules that make a big impact. Think of emotional boundaries in the same way and always include them in your routine.
Do your kids know about boundaries? They help us to take care of ourselves and kids should know that early on.
