It’s often said that children make the world go round. They are our hope and the mind’s that will help shape a better future. Any parent will tell you that their biggest desire for their child is for them to be happy. But sometimes, that’s a lot more challenging than you might think.
Since COVID-19 first hit our shores in late 2019, fear and panic reached children in every school. They had to bear endless months of isolation from their friends, wider family members and life as they know it changed radically. This situation makes it more difficult for preschoolers to prepare for formal classes. Most kids, experience back-to-school anxiety, preventing them from interacting with other children and participating in class.
Children’s mental health has become a topical debate amongst practitioners and governments. Now more than ever, adopting positive strategies to maintain good mental health is essential. Here’s our guide to encouraging your kid to be happy and peaceful in challenging times:
Connection
Lifelong emotional wellbeing is centred around how well we connect to those around us. For your child, their relationship with you, other family members, friends, school family and their pets all help them to feel like they belong.
According to child psychiatrist and author Edward Hallowell, M.D., “a connected childhood is the key to happiness.” So fostering feelings of being loved, wanted, understood and acknowledged should all lie at the foundation of your relationship with your kid. That way, when faced with stressful or challenging times, your child will feel more secure and confident in their abilities to cope with situations.
Social connectors are your most important contributors to happiness. Without them, your child is likely to feel unconfident, suffer self-esteem issues and struggle to find their place in the world. That is an incredibly scary place to be as a youth.
You are not responsible for your child’s happiness
Parenting comes with a lot of responsibilities. Some we have complete control over, and others are dependent on the emotional responses from yourself and your child. With this in mind, short-term happiness is not conducive to living in the big wide world.
Placing your child into a well-controlled bubble where they get their every wish granted will not only build unnecessary expectations in them but will affect your happiness in the long term too.
“Helicopter parenting” was coined back in the 1960s in Dr Haim Ginott’s book Parents & Teenagers. In short, it’s a type of parenting that is so focused on every aspect of your child’s experiences and emotions that it can ultimately stifle development. Think of it as swooping in to save your kid any time you think they are going to fail.
If children never deal with negative emotions, they will never cope with challenging experiences as an adult. Resilience and coping skills are born out of learning that it is ok to fail because you can always try again. Setbacks, after all, are all part of the human condition. Without them, civilisations would fail, and society would crumble.
Ultimately, your job as a parent is to step back and allow your children to realise their capabilities.
Don’t be extravagant with praise
Milestones are paramount to your child’s development. It shows that they are learning to grapple with concepts like emotions, techniques and behaviour skills. These are all good things to encourage and support.
Then, there’s the “cheerleader parent.” You know the ones. “Charlie drew a rainbow today.” Except what Charlie actually drew was an inconsistent pattern of muddy colours, but he will be the next Van Gough, and nothing will stand in his way!
Step back, and you’ll soon realise that Charlie has been placed front and centre on a pedestal. One small tip to the side, and his whole praise elevated position you have put him in, suddenly means (in his eyes) if he fails, you won’t love him anymore. His self-esteem crumbles, and you no longer have a happy boy.
Praise is often displaced with children’s achievements. Instead of celebrating the effort, persistence and hard work it took to get there, you focus on the end result. That’s a lot to live up to!
Set up a routine
From the moment your little one came into the world, you likely created a bedtime routine. Bathtime, storytelling and toothbrushing all are part of what makes your child’s body prepare to sleep. So stick to it!
As your kid gets older, you may need to adjust their routine so that it is more age-appropriate, but the fundamentals should remain the same:
- Stick to a bedtime – as your child develops, their body will naturally rely on the sleep-wake cycle to regulate their sleeping pattern. That is why sticking to bedtime is so important, as your child needs to recognise the differences between day and night for their body to function correctly
- Keep up good oral hygiene – from using a soft cloth on your baby’s gums to a children’s electric toothbrush, your child needs to stay on top of their tooth brushing routine. Tooth decay and painful cavities can also disrupt sleep, so why add to the nighttime stress!
- Baths = magic – science has proven that having a warm bath before bed can help you fall asleep more quickly. The water raises your core body temperature so that it triggers your body’s natural cooling down period that gets you ready to sleep. This drop in temperature is a signal to your body that it is time for sleep
What’s more, our whole lives are governed by routine. So helping your child to stick to a simple bedtime routine will allow them to be more adaptable and efficient as they grow.
The importance of sleep
Sleep. It’s the place where our bodies and minds get the essential restorative shut-eye that allows everything from your immune system to function and your muscles to rest.
Happiness and wellbeing are intrinsically linked to sleep. If you’re a parent, you undoubtedly know how it feels to have your sleep interrupted. It can be painful, stressful and can make you feel like you are losing a part of yourself.
Now imagine your child losing out on the precious zzz’s. You’ve probably already seen the effects for yourself, such as a bad mood or a lack of motivation to do anything. But if they are missing out on quality sleep regularly, the consequences can be life-altering.
Anxiety, depression and behavioural issues can all be the bi-product of long-term sleep deprivation. Fortunately, there are a few things you can do to encourage a better night’s sleep:
- Take time out to talk specifically about how your kid is feeling. Try and ask open-ended questions, and leave them enough time to think about their answers. If they want to tell you something, they will.
- Stick to a bedtime routine. Whatever age your child is, having a bedtime model is essential for establishing good sleep patterns, such as bath, toothbrushing, storytime, and a final goodnight. As your children get older, you can adjust their routine accordingly.
- Their room = their space. Let your child choose design elements for their room from paint colour to posters, lighting to a weighted blanket – decision making is a life skill that builds confidence.
- Have a bath before bed. No matter how old you are, baths are an incredible sleep-enhancing tool. The warm water heats up your body’s core temperature and then cools quickly once you step out of the bath. This triggers your body’s natural sleep process into preparing itself for sleep. Magic.
Well-being and self-esteem, sleep and confidence all go hand in hand. Giving your kid the right tools now will help them to overcome challenges in the future. Happiness and peace are all the result of mastering ways to cope and sound parenting. What strategies will you use to help keep your child’s mental health in check?
