Predators’ tactics are getting more and more sophisticated by the minute, and knowing how to stay safe has become critical. The best protection comes from a thorough background check of someone you’re about to go on a date with. You will receive invaluable information from screening resource UnMask. In this article, we’ll discuss tips we got from them and additional ways to protect yourself from a date with ulterior motives.
Don’t be Preoccupied With Your Phone
Talking and texting on your phone during a date is not only rude but also potentially dangerous. By focusing on your phone, you become less aware of the situation you’re in. It compromises your intuition for identifying risks. Your date might become resentful or even angry at you.
Don’t Give out Personal Information
Be cautious about letting a new date see your ID if you’re asked to present such in order to enter an event or at a restaurant or bar. He might remember your address and start stalking you if you decide not to go out with him again. While it’s not feasible to avoid all personal questions – the whole point of a date is to get to know someone – be careful about what you share and ask. He will expect the same information from you if you ask about his finances or residence.
Don’t Drink too Much on the date
Everyone’s threshold is different, but it might be best to stop drinking when you start getting a buzz. It’s easy to go overboard because people can be nervous on a first date. Don’t drink to match him. On average, men generally process alcohol faster and carry more liquor than women.
Sexual predators use alcohol to detect vulnerability or as a means to facilitate an attack. It’s no coincidence that predators frequent places where women are drinking. He might keep buying you drinks and paying for them to look like a gentleman. Of course, we have ulterior motives here. If you’re not sure about how much liquor you can carry, stop at two drinks. Be wary if he insists you drink more.
It goes without saying you shouldn’t leave your drink unattended. Wash your hands or go to the bathroom before sitting down to order.
Don’t go to Isolated Places
With most bars and restaurants closed during the pandemic, isolated places have become one of the few options for a date. Keep in mind that inviting him to your place or going to his will probably be interpreted as you wanting sex. You might not like it, but it’s a fact.
If you don’t know someone well, see them only in public and don’t accept offers to go anywhere “more private.” It will be hard to fend off his attacks when there is no one around. You might even end up being blamed for unwanted sex (rape) because you agreed to go to an isolated location.
Stand Your Ground
A man who pressures you into violating ground rules, beliefs, or values is likely abusive, coercive, or even a potential rapist. He might be testing if he can manipulate you. Our own behavior is equally important. Consider whether you use sex to cope with low self-esteem, depression, or addiction or as a means of retaliation. Think about whether you use it as a way to control men. Younger women, in particular, often haven’t defined their personal boundaries.
Don’t Rely on Weapons or Pepper Spray
If a man assaults you, a weapon, pepper spray, or gadget might not be in your hand. A conniving criminal will bide his time, picking the best moment to attack. Moreover, one’s fine motor skills are diminished in a stressful situation due to anxiety, making it less likely to apply a defensive device effectively. You might forget how to use the weapon during the stress of an attack.
Don’t Rush Into Sex
After being sexually intimate, most people can’t go back to friendship or work-related association. Courtship transpires in phases, which include holding hands, kissing, and caressing. These phases create future expectations of intimacy. When it does come to sex, insist on using condoms, and be distrustful if he demonstrates indifference to them. You should perceive this as a sign of disrespect. Somebody who seeks a brief sexual encounter won’t care about infecting you or getting you pregnant.
