When a loved one is recovering from a mental illness, like an eating disorder, it may be difficult to know what to say or do sometimes. With some learning and intentionality, family members can play a crucial role in their loved one’s recovery. In this article, we will look at these serious conditions and how to best support a family member in eating disorder recovery.
Visit BetterHelp for more advice and information regarding navigating relationships with family.
Understanding Eating Disorders
The first step to being able to support a family member in recovery is understanding more about the nature of eating disorders.
Eating disorders involve extreme attitudes, behaviors and emotions surrounding food, weight and exercise. They are complex mental health conditions that impact an individual’s physical, mental, and social well-being. If left untreated, they can be life threatening.
It is crucial to understand that someone does not choose to have an eating disorder. Instead, these illnesses develop as a result of a combination of biological, psychological and environmental factors. While eating disorders manifest in attitudes and behaviors around food, they are not truly about food. They have a food obsession as a coping mechanism. However, there is help available.
There are various types of eating disorders that have distinct signs and symptoms. However, eating disorders often share certain characteristics such as preoccupation with weight/body size/food/calories, frequent dieting and food restrictions, cutting out entire food groups, rigid mentality about ‘good’ and ‘bad’ foods, engaging in food rituals, increased isolation/avoiding eating in front of others, and disordered behaviors such as binge eating, purging, or excessive exercise.
6 Strategies for Supporting a Family Member in Eating Disorder Recovery
- Educate yourself about eating disorders. Take the time to learn more about your family member’s specific eating disorder and how it manifests. The National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA) has excellent resources for eating disorder education, as well as forums where you can talk to other family members in support roles.
- Encourage your loved one to keep adhering to their treatment plan. Support your family member as they continue to attend therapy and follow a meal plan suggested by their treatment team. Instead of engaging in arguments over stopping disordered behaviors that persist, trust in the professional help they are receiving. All you can do is continue to offer support; shame will not help them get better.
- Do not accommodate their eating disorder. On the other hand, do not allow the family’s activities to revolve around the eating disorder. For example, opting not to go out to eat because it is uncomfortable for the person in recovery would be enabling the eating disorder. Challenging the individual to have to decide between giving into the eating disorder self or their values (spending time with family) can provide needed motivation to recover.
- Refrain from discussing topics such as weight, bodies, or dieting. Even if you are not commenting on the person in recovery’s body, weight or what they are eating, it is best to avoid these topics in general- anything that places emphasis on thinness or weight loss, or re-enforces harmful ideas about certain foods being ‘bad’ or off limits.
- Seek support for yourself as needed. Supporting someone you care about with mental illness can be challenging and exhausting at times. It is imperative to make sure you are taking care of yourself as well, by setting healthy boundaries and engaging in self-care. You might also consider seeking out professional support for a safe place where you can process your feelings and emotions around your family member’s recovery.
Remember that recovery is a process that takes time, and does not occur overnight. Ultimately, it is up to the person with an eating disorder to put in the work and effort required to recover. While you can be there to support them, you can’t do it for them. All you can do is be a loving and unwavering presence along the way.
Marie Miguel Biography:
Marie Miguel has been a writing and research expert for nearly a decade, covering a variety of health- related topics. Currently, she is contributing to the expansion and growth of a free online mental health resource with BetterHelp.com. With an interest and dedication to addressing stigmas associated with mental health, she continues to specifically target subjects related to anxiety and depression.
