This post is brought to you by Janine Snyder of goaupair.com (bio at bottom of post).
It happened again. We forgot to pack her socks, or her sweatshirt, or her lunchbox and now my husband and I have to run back to our house and drive them back to my stepdaughter’s home at her moms. It’s not just the forgotten items on our end either. There are plenty of my stepdaughter’s stuff that doesn’t make their way back to us either. Sometimes, we had to make a run over to her mom’s house because she didn’t have the right shoes for her outfit or needed a special item for a special thing at school.
There was a time that it seemed like we were constantly buying packs of socks and underwear to make sure that she had something to wear. I’m sure the same thing was happening at her mom’s home as well.
As my stepdaughter has grown we have also begun to have homework related issues. She needed certain items for projects that happened to be split up between the two homes. She said she was further along in projects than she really was and allowed to slack at one home or the other. Trying to help her with 6th grade math once a week as opposed to learning the whole unit was mind numbing. I haven’t even mentioned the pickup and drop off as she transfers from house to house or to activities or friend’s homes or school; which are all closer to her mom’s home.
I’m not complaining. We have it easy. All of the parents and the parent’s families get along and we actually have a great time together. I grew up as friends with my stepdaughter’s stepdad, went to school with her mom and we are even friends on Facebook! Her mom has always welcomed me as a part of her daughter’s life and I am truly grateful for this and our relationship, but sometimes, I just wish there was another adult who could be responsible for the “things” at both homes. Someone to do the switch off and can offer consistency and stability at both homes.
Of course, working for an Au Pair agency, it was not lost on me that an Au Pair could certainly fill this void. I had personal contact with families that had Au Pairs in situations just like this one. The way that the Au Pair just fit into their lives and added structure for both the kids and parents was exactly what this two home family needed! Then, as fate would have it, I came across a beautiful letter that one of our Host Mom’s, Bridget, wrote about her Au Pair’s help in a two family home situation.
“Our Au Pair has had the extremely difficult task of having to care for the boys at two different homes. She has gracefully handled two different rules, homes and routines with ease. My job is rather unpredictable. I do not have a clock in and clock out type of job.”
Bridget says her au pair is great to accommodate last minute changes she has in her work schedule. “She has provided consistency and support for us to an inconsistent schedule. She picks up where I leave off and I pick up where she leaves off. We truly manage our household together as a team and she throws me a life preserver. I have been able to focus and succeed at my job and be a better mother since her arrival. She also has taught my children to be appreciative and thankful for the things and life we have…She is our lifesaver and my right hand. There will never be a replacement for Lauren she will always hold a special place in our home and heart. Our au pair has truly been the glue that has held us all together.”
In my experience with host families in this two home family situation over the years I know the au pair program has made a difference in the lives of so many. I love hearing about how this program has made a difference in the lives of so many, especially when it is a situation that, being a two home family, I can certainly relate to! I don’t think it could be phrased better when Bridget states, “She has truly been the glue that has held us all together.” Now that is a two family home win.
Bio: Janine Snyder is a wife, mom and a step-mom and has been in the childcare industry for 25 years. She worked as a full-time nanny for 12 years until she had her own baby and now her job is to work and support parents and nannies from all over the world with Go Au Pair.
