Divorce is a very difficult thing for anyone to go through for anyone. However, when kids are involved it can be heartbreaking, not only for the couple but for the kids too. Being aware of how a divorce can impact your kids and finding a way to navigate these difficult waters is crucial for your children moving forward. You need to make sure that you look after your kid’s well-being before, during and after a divorce to make this difficult situation as easy on them as possible.
When two people who were very much in love decide that they no longer want to be together, there are generally a lot of emotions involved. It’s not unusual for tempers to rise, for things to turn nasty and for things to be said that cannot easily be taken back. Even if a divorce is relatively amicable, one party will generally feel more hard done by than the other, causing resentment and disdain to start festering. Children are like sponges in these situations and are more than capable of soaking up all of these emotions, which can be difficult and painful for them to deal with.
Let’s take a look at a few ways that you can make divorce less painful for your kids.
Clear Communication
From the moment that you decide to get a divorce lawyer involved, you need to let your kids know what’s going on. Children are intuitive and while you might want to protect them, keeping them in the dark will often do more harm than good. Sit down with your kids together and calmly explain what is happening. It’s key that both parents are present for this discussion to avoid blame being placed on one parent. As proceedings develop, be sure to keep your kids up-to-date with what is happening at each stage of the divorce.
Never Use Your Kids
One surefire way for a divorce to be more painful for your kids is to involve them directly in the proceedings. Your children should never be used as a bargaining chip in your divorce proceedings. Likewise, you should never use your kids for emotional support during the proceedings. If you need support, it’s likely that you will be sure to reach out to trusted friends or family members instead of putting your children in the middle of a difficult situation. Avoid bad-mouthing your partner or passing messages to them through your kids. Keep your children out of it, after all, this is between you and your partner.
Acknowledge Their Emotions
While you certainly don’t want to involve your children in the divorce proceedings, it’s important that you acknowledge what they are going through. Whether they are teenagers or young kids, you can be sure that they will find the entire situation difficult and unnerving. Avoid “normalising” the situation or trying to take the high road. Instead, you should let them know that divorce is sad, difficult and frustrating. Try to avoid exposing your kids to your own stress and focus on being there for them when they need you.
Make Your Divorce As Easy As Possible For Your Children
No matter why you and your partner have decided to get a divorce, it’s important to remember that your children should not be caught in the crossfire. They didn’t ask for this situation to unfold and they should have as little to do with the proceedings as possible. Naturally, they will need to know what is happening and they will find this a difficult, stressful and confusing time. Make sure that you are there to offer them the support they need, answer any questions they might have and that you do what you can to make things as easy as possible for your children as possible throughout the proceedings.
