This is a sponsored guest post.
Nobody asks from you to be a perfect mom, nobody can be ‘‘perfect’’, because, for your child you are already perfect. Only thing you have to be is positive. Of course, now and then, you will need to show your negative sides (your children should know all of your sides), but the emphasis in this article is on, why you shouldn’t be negative all the time and how it may and can affect your child in a bad way.
How it may affect your child (and loved ones)
Recent study reveals that if a parent has depression, anxiety, or similar mental health problems, child is more likely to develop similar symptoms and suffer from sadness, drug abuse and social withdrawal later in their life. If a child is living in a negative environment, yelled at for every possible mistake, you may hurt their self-esteem (just imagine yourself in that situation, would you be able to look yourself in the mirror?).
What does science say about Negativity?
Authors of the book “Words Can Change Your Brain” state how negative words have a huge impact. Words such as ‘’no’’, produce dozens of stress hormones and neurotransmitters that do irreversible damage to our brain. It is the same, whether we hear or speak the negative words, and this is only one way how negative thoughts can harm your brain. So just imagine how negative environment impacts your children and how their negativity later on may impact you. Evil comes full circle.
They will remember everything
You know how in movies and TV shows, shrinks always ask their patients about their childhood memories and relations with parents? It is no different in reality, the way you grew up can tell much about you. It is because your personality is developed in the way you were treated as a child. Family is a micro-society, and relationship with your mom and dad defines relations with other people in adult life.
They may not be self-aware at their young age, but their brains are like sponges, absorbing everything. The stronger the feeling about an event, the deeper it is embedded in their memory. You should ask yourself: How will my children remember me when they grow up? So behave accordingly.
Set the right tone for every discourse
Every time your kid messes something up, believe me, they will know they did. Yelling and throwing punishments won’t help, instead, next time they go explore the world, they will probably be scared of making mistakes again. It is normal to react to child’s misbehavior, but you should talk to them like to an adult, explain what and why they did something wrong and how to behave next time in the same situation. Don’t make them feel worse about it just because you couldn’t control your emotions. They should learn from mistakes, not be afraid of them, which one it will be depends on you.
What to do when stressed out?
First of all, focus on staying calm, breed deeply and try stating loudly what is the problem (I personally do the 3.2.4. breathing method). It is important to state to yourself, since by doing it, you will pull the problem from cloudy, impulsive and subconscious part of your psyche, out in your conscious part, therefore making it easier for you to focus on the problem and calm it down. Analyze the problem thoroughly before talking about it with your kid or just for getting rid of your negative dropouts.
Help Yourself = Help Others
If you are not able to finding positivity in you, you could always do a bit of research, dive into good books, learn from other people’s experiences or read studies about the theme. Of course, if you have serious problems managing your emotions, you should always consider looking for professional help. Have a conversation with a psychiatrist, or a family therapist.
And remember, if you are happy, your child will be happy,and if they are happy, you will be too!
