Most media does not intend to provide a realistic depiction of the world. Models tend to be unrealistically slender, and their skin lacks any of the texture or blemishes that are common amongst living, breathing people. Clothes are often tailored for individual bodies, and any lingering imperfections can be retouched through photo and video editing.
Most adults have developed a strong sense of cynicism regarding how people look in magazines, on television series and in movies. Not even the models and celebrities in media always look as flawless as they tend to appear. However, it can take years of media exposure to develop such defensiveness — which means that young girls can and do suffer serious insecurity as they compare themselves to the icons and idols in the media.
As a parent, you need to take an active part in the building and maintenance of your child’s self-confidence. Your little girl is becoming a teen, and it is even more important for you to make sure she develops complete and total confidence in her body and mind.
Model Body Confidence
Children learn how to think and act as adults by watching their parents. From the time they are babies, your kids have been watching you, and as children and teens, they will mimic how you talk about and treat your body. Therefore, you need to be careful to model body confidence — if not for your own mental and physical health then for your daughter’s sake. You should avoid saying disparaging things about how you look and instead take every opportunity to compliment your appearance. Alternatively, you can focus on celebrating what your body can do, like make and raise children or run marathons.
Avoid Passing Judgement on Other Bodies
As important as how you talk about yourself is how you talk about those around you. If you constantly speak poorly about other people’s bodies — be they loved ones or strangers — your child will assume that all people are constantly viewing and evaluating the bodies of one another. Not only will this lead to your kid treating others poorly, but it could also cause your daughter great distress as they constantly worry about how others are assessing their looks. It is best to avoid commenting on the appearance of others entirely to contribute to a more constructive culture of body neutrality.
Encourage Fashion Experimentation
Many people gain confidence from their clothes, but not all clothes make everyone feel equally cool and collected. Regardless of how you imagined your daughter to dress, you should encourage her to experiment with different clothing, especially as a teen. You might take her shopping to try on clothing items she has never worn, like certain rompers and dresses, and you might consider visiting stores with aesthetics she has never experienced. Through experimentation, your kid will find a sense of style they like, which will help them feel more comfortable and confident in their skin.
Explain Dress Codes
Many teens feel victimized by school dress codes, which they perceive to infringe on their ability to express their identities. However, in most cases, school dress codes only function to prevent fashion from distracting the student body from focusing on academic pursuits. You might review your teen girl’s school dress code with her, so you both know how to shop to avoid negative consequences. If you do identify one or more unreasonable rules, you should file complaints with the school’s administration to change them.
Emphasize the Importance of Other Features
For centuries, Western culture has prioritized how a woman looks over how she feels, thinks or behaves. Unfortunately, modern culture has hardly moved away from this, and young girls continue to receive messages that their appearance is their most important attribute. You should try to fight these messages by talking to your daughter about the significance of other features. There are so many more valuable qualities in a person than their looks; you might focus on athleticism, intelligence, compassion or some other characteristic that you believe is important to society.
You can’t trust the media to raise your daughter with a healthy body image; in fact, so much of the media benefits from developing deep and strong insecurities in the population. You can save your daughter years of anguish by teaching her body confidence from a young age, and in doing so, you can contribute to a healthier and more positive culture for the future.
