When you have children, you spend all of your time preparing them for life. You teach them how to have manners, how to talk, how to walk, how to read, how to write – lessons don’t stop from the moment they are born to the moment you die. Even when they are grown adults and they are living their own lives with their own families, you will be there helping them and teaching them and supporting them on the way. Going to school for the very first time can be a very frightening thing for children. It’s even more frightening when they have never spent a day away from you or the other parent since they were a baby. Sure, they may spend time with other relatives, but if you’ve never put them into nursery or any kind of childcare, going to school is a big deal.
It’s not just a big deal for your child, either. It’s also a big deal for you as a parent to let go of their hand and allow them to walk through the school gates and be without you for a few hours. It feels like a punch, and of course it feels wrong – this child has been with you every second of your life since you’ve got pregnant with them! They are going to learn how to use the bathroom and hall pass, they are going to learn how to behave in a classroom setting, they are going to learn how to put their hand up and ask a question and wait their turn. It’s hard for small kids to learn how to do all of those things, but as a parent you’re going to be preparing them for this day. You’re going to be talking to them about school, and you might even opt for part time childcare in the leadup to help them get used to the idea.
School is a scary place full of strangers, but with your help, they are going to be able to build their confidence and walk in on the very first day knowing that you will be back again to collect them at the end of it. Here are some of the things that you can do to prepare your child to go to school for the very first time.
- Talk them through the schedule. For the months leading up to the first day of school, you can talk to them about how the school day is structured and what they should expect. Things are often less scary when you can show and tell them what they going to expect on the new school days. Explain to them how lunch boxes work and how break time will work. Get them to practice eating from the lunch box and get them to practice sitting still and listening to instructions. These are all small things you could do just to get them prepared for that scary first day.
- Go on a school visit. When they hear the word school, they might conjure up images in their heads of a place that’s away from you – and that can become a very frightening image. Book to see your child’s teacher at school and then meet them in person. Introduce your child to their new teacher and their new classroom setting, and go for a walk around the grounds. Most schools have an orientation session prior to start dates, so make sure that you attend it with your child.
- Get them to try on any school uniform. If your child’s school has a uniform code, get your child excited by showing them how to put on the uniform. If there is no uniform, go shopping together for school supplies and the wardrobe for the school day. If they have a school bag, let them pack it, let them use the zippers and the buttons. It’s a good way for them to learn how to use the schoolbag when the teacher has some homework or a book to take home.
- Talk about feelings. Small children who are going away to school for the first time are going to have some big feelings about that, and you may notice some changes in behavior as a result. Don’t dismiss these feelings or their concerns – make sure that you know what their reactions are when there are conversations surrounding school and sit them down and talk to them about it. Whether they are enthusiastic or anxious, reassure your child by answering all of the questions and encourage them by fostering positive behavior. Explain how they can calm their feelings down by taking some deep breaths, and learning how to pull themselves into a calm space. It’s okay that they feel overwhelmed by this – so teach them that.
- Organize a playdate. The chances are that social media has already bloomed a few new parent groups in your local area for children starting school at the same time. Organizing a play date with other children who will be your child’s classmates is a great way to help them to get to know people and have friends in the class who are familiar. It’s also a good way to teach your child to say hello to their classmates and their new teacher.
- Start working on a good sleeping routine. Children who are starting school need to have a good amount of sleep every single night so that they can be as productive and as energetic as possible for the new school. It’s important to get into the sleep early and wake early routine on school nights, so that they can be on time in the morning and wake up ready for the day. While we’re at it, consider making sure that you regulate your own sleep, because there is nothing worse than being that exhausted parent on the school run!
- Teach your child to be brave. School can be a huge challenge for some children but that’s why preparation is key and you can help them to be brave on their first day and be excited about what to expect. Let your child do some affirmations to remind them that they are smart, kind and ready for anything. You are their parent and they are going to have so much fun if you teach them to be brave and courageous. Talk about the importance of deep breaths and regulating emotions.
- Help them to be confident while using the toilet. Plenty of children start school having only just learnt how to use the toilet, how to wash their hands and how to wipe themselves after they go. You need to do what you can to ensure that your child feels confident when they are going to the bathroom, because when they ask for a bathroom pass, they are going to need to know what to do next. If you work with them early to ensure that they know how to use the toilet independently, teachers and teaching aides are not going to have to help them to do this. This is quite important for your child’s independence and confidence in school.
It’s always going to be something new for all of you to go through when your child starts school for the first time. It certainly won’t be the last first day, not for a few years, but it’s the first one ever that really counts. Prepare your children for school, and you will be excited to see how they come home at the end of the day.
